When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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