Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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