So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Randomize
