Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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