This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
