you mean i was at the winter classic?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
