Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
