i just had sex bonerless
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
There r osticjed everywhere
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
