We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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