Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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