Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
We have started to decorate penises.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
