he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
