i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
