Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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