And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
