Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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