Christians are straight up FREAKS
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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