I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
