i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
