Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
