Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize