Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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