If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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