Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
