I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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