put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
It's blow job season.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
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The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
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dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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