if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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