I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize