how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize