get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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