Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
