I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
