am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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