i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
