4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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