What did we do last night that was yellow?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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