If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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