My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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