butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
