My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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