Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
