I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
