I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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