final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
