when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
