How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
