So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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