She's like a pop up book from hell.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
