Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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