I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
