Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
