yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
