got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
