Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
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