Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
this is an emotional support booty call
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
