it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
