we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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