someone threw a dead crab at me
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
