the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
