There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I intend to get homeless drunk
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
