operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
